Now more than ever, Americans are troubled by questions. As sweaty modernity thrusts itself upon us, the veil of ignorance that cloaked our nation hangs in tatters, tattered tatters. Our &quot;funny bones&quot; are neither fun nor bony. Glum is the new giddy, and the old giddy wasn't too giddy to begin with.<br><br>What can be done to stop this relentless march of drabbery? Nothing. But perhaps this book can be used to dull the pain. Included herein:<br><br>The Ten Worst Films of All Time, as Reviewed by Ezra Pound over Italian Radio<br><br>Unused Audio Commentary by Howard Zinn and Noam Chomsky, Recorded Summer 2002, for <i>The Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring</i> DVD (Platinum Series Extended Edition), Part One.<br><br>How Important Moments in My Life Would Have Been Different If I Was Shot in the Stomach<br><br>My Beard, Reviewed<br><br>Circumstances under Which I Would Have Sex with Some of My Fellow Jurors<br><br>Words That Would Make Nice Names for Babies, If It Weren't for Their Unsuitable Meanings<br><br>As a Porn Movie Titler, I May Lack Promise<br><br>Ineffective Ways to Subdue a Jaguar<br><br>Eleven Lunch Meats I Have Invented<br><br>Four Things I Would Have Said to Sylvia Plath if I Had Been Her Boyfriend<br><br>And much, much more, including 20 brilliant new lists . . .